my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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