True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
