I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
