Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
