Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
