Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
