Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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