So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
