so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
