I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
