Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
