Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
