I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize