i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
