Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
