I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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