I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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