I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
