Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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