I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
