Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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