ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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