so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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