Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
