bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
