I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I will die if light touches me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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