So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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