Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it glows. i had to have it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
