CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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