She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
