Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
