Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
