why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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