Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
