I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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