She said her name was "party"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
