just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
