we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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