So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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