I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
