At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
