I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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