Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
