Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
