Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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