did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Success! We fucked roommates!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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