..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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