I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
