Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
