I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
