So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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