a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
