we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
