A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
