What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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