Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
