A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize