look no pants
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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