so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
where are my eyebrows?
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