butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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