so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
