Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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