I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
