He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
