How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
