Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
